Monday, October 29, 2007

Chapter Thirteen: I'm Down

I was feeling great. We had 18 embryos that were being carefully watched over by the embryology lab. Even if we lost half of them, we'd still have plenty to work with.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007 was my ET. DH & I had agreed, along with my RE, that we would transfer 3 if we had 3 good ones to transfer. I was willing to deal with multiples, and DH, well, he would have to deal with it! I was so excited to have our little embryos transferred.

Before the ET we met with my RE. It was then that she gave us the extremely disappointing news that out of the 18 embryos we had on Saturday, only one had grown and divided enough to be considered worthy of transfer. We had only one blastocyst. How terribly sad that so many of them did not grow. My RE also picked out two morulae, which, even though they were a day or two behind the blastocyst, we agreed to transfer them as well.

The ET was extremely painful. It was the worst pain I had ever experienced during any gynecological visit, EVER. And even more painful was the emotional pain I was feeling. Why did so many of our embryos fail to develop? Could we also be dealing with genetic problems as well? I cried during the entire procedure. I just knew this wasn't going to work, and here I was, laying on the table, spread eagle, going through all of this pain for nothing. This was probably the worst day of my life.

No comments: